G I Joe - Our hero. Duh.
Christie - The bad-ass bestfriend
Hulk Hogan - Wise, old uncle with questionable taste in clothes (I was 9, okay?!)
Mumm-Ra - Bad guy
The rest of the cast consists of more WWE wrestlers, a dog and some velociraptors.
There's nine year old me, playing pretend with a dear cousin of mine. This cousin is a boy, as you can tell from the toys (Christie was mine, and Posh Spice had been abandoned by some person.) We followed a standard plot line. Evil, mutant'd bad guy captures our damsel (beautiful according to society's standards), hurting the bestfriend in the process, who he doesn't capture because he doesn't find her attractive because he's a racist prick. The bestfriend tries to figure out a way to save her friend but she doesn't have the means, so she goes to G.I Joe, our attractive, strong hero who has a crush on Posh. (The word crush made me giggle back then much to my older cousin's amusement. I can't believe he put up with me.) Joe goes to Hogan for tips and stuff because although he's lost his strength, he was still a powerful, young guy back in the day, and can give some sound advice. Small armies are rounded up on both sides, luxury cars and...velociraptors are thrown in, and a battle ensues. The battle is won, the bad guys now forgotten, Posh has been recovered. She is now in love with some guy she barely knows, but it is all good because they're both gorgeous, and they have a dog.
My cousin asks:
"Should we kill off one of the good guys, Fatin?"
"WHAT?"
"One of the less useful ones. Maybe Christie or Hogan?"
"But I love them all."
"Of course Fati, but the story has to be believable, does it not?"
"Can we not, for once, have a happy ending?"
"It'll still be a happy ending."
"Only because the couple has survived?"
"Hogan can die saving Posh. Or he can fall off a cliff by accident."
*tears threaten to make themselves known*
"Okay, it's okay, we don't have to kill anybody off. Look Joe and Posh are getting married. I even put on the tophat on Joe. Do you want them to kiss?"
*blushes. hides face*
There's nine year old me, playing pretend with a dear cousin of mine. This cousin is a boy, as you can tell from the toys (Christie was mine, and Posh Spice had been abandoned by some person.) We followed a standard plot line. Evil, mutant'd bad guy captures our damsel (beautiful according to society's standards), hurting the bestfriend in the process, who he doesn't capture because he doesn't find her attractive because he's a racist prick. The bestfriend tries to figure out a way to save her friend but she doesn't have the means, so she goes to G.I Joe, our attractive, strong hero who has a crush on Posh. (The word crush made me giggle back then much to my older cousin's amusement. I can't believe he put up with me.) Joe goes to Hogan for tips and stuff because although he's lost his strength, he was still a powerful, young guy back in the day, and can give some sound advice. Small armies are rounded up on both sides, luxury cars and...velociraptors are thrown in, and a battle ensues. The battle is won, the bad guys now forgotten, Posh has been recovered. She is now in love with some guy she barely knows, but it is all good because they're both gorgeous, and they have a dog.
My cousin asks:
"Should we kill off one of the good guys, Fatin?"
"WHAT?"
"One of the less useful ones. Maybe Christie or Hogan?"
"But I love them all."
"Of course Fati, but the story has to be believable, does it not?"
"Can we not, for once, have a happy ending?"
"It'll still be a happy ending."
"Only because the couple has survived?"
"Hogan can die saving Posh. Or he can fall off a cliff by accident."
*tears threaten to make themselves known*
"Okay, it's okay, we don't have to kill anybody off. Look Joe and Posh are getting married. I even put on the tophat on Joe. Do you want them to kiss?"
*blushes. hides face*
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